So VH1 is attempting to bless us yet again with their spin off of the original Basketball Wives, (my passion in life) "Basketball Wives L.A." Between this cast and the original one that we have grown to love and admire for their class and elegant behavior, I'm not quite sure if there will be enough water to go around to hydrate these thirsty ass bitches.
Let us start with rumored ho-extraordinaire, Draya "Jump-off" Michelle. First off, I simply cannot hate, Draya is a mad pretty chick and I think, correct me if I'm wrong, is the youngest as well. Apparently she is Chris Brown's ex and I hope for her sake that she wore a helmet and suitable padding whenever he had one of his "little" temper tantrums. She is by far the most hated-on bitch of this group because of her rumored escapades with multiple athletes and her jump-off status, and to be completely honest, I think all of the other "wives" (a term that should be very loosely thrown around as always) are mostly hating on her because they are afraid their men are going to be hypnotized by her young, light-skinded pussy. Also I guess all the other wives hate on her because she was a stripper, which is sooooo warranted from them since they are all the epitome of class themselves. Whatever if the chick stripped, I say do you boo!! I'm sure she made plenty of dollaz. "They desire to see me perspire" was also my fav quote that summed up the other women's view on Draya (in Draya's words herself)
Let's move onto Gloria "PleaseletmebethenextShaunie" Govan, a Shaunie O'neal wannabe, as she claims to be the leader of the group (nobody cares) and probably the most suspect of all of the "Bball wives" in any cast in my opinion. Bitch is always talking about how great her marriage is with Matt Barnes even though we all know he's probably fucking every chick in site from L.A. to Orlando (the last place he played b-ball). All in all Gloria is mad boring to me and needs to shut the fuck up and stop frontin' like she's gonna beat a bitch up cause we all know bitch will not throw bows when it comes down to it.
Then there's Gloria's sister, Laura "I slept with Shaq's enormous ass" Govan. I couldn't care less about the bitch but apparently she fucked Shaunie's ex, the large and in charge Shaquille O'neal, which could create some interesting drama later on in the show. And smooches to her for gettin' shit poppin' on the first episode and throwin some bows at Malaysia. Also am I the only one that thinks Laura resembles Ronald Mcdonald when she smiles too??
Next we have Jackie "Iwilldoanythingtokeepmyman" Christie, who says that she plans a wedding for her and her husband Doug Christie every year, because if you are too busy planning a wedding, you don't have enough time to plan a divorce. Good thinking Jackie!! Their marriage is obviously one based on trust and security. Just remember Jackie, Doug will still have time to fuck other hoes in between your annual weddings, so you might want to re-think your plan girlfriend!
Kimsha "Keepin It Real" Artest is basically the only one of these chicks I can fuck with because she's from NY and seems to keep it real on the regular. I was quite relieved when I heard her explain that she wasn't too fond of L.A. and all the "fake ass bitches" that hibernate within it.
Malaysia "Compton" Pargo seems a bit like an uptight, reserved bougie bitch which is interesting considering she's always reminding us that she grew up in Compton and feels most comfortable there. But THEN came the fight with Laura that confirmed the Compton was still well and alive within her.
Tanya "I only Drink the Most Expensive Champagne" Williams is probably the most intelligent out of this bunch of rocket scientists, though comes off fairly condescending to the other woman (partially because she is and partially because they are all hoodrats trying to hide behind their riches). She does deserve smooches though because she explained that she didn't have time to help out in the fight in episode 1 because she was too busy googling what the term hoodrat meant which is completely understandable in every way.
Imani Showalter really doesn't do much for me. I will give her smooches though for attempting to start shit with Draya by referring to her as "worthless" at that weird ass party that I think we all mistook for a sex party or whatever.
In summary, as expected these bitches are thirstier than Meeka and the state of Texas in the summer time combined and I of course will be watching each and every minute of this wannabe train-wreck. Smooches.
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